The Passing of Ed Brenner
It was not what I planned for my first post on my website update. Certainly not what Ed had in mind either.
On November 23, 2012 the Rapidweaver Community and the greater online community lost a good friend. I lost a good personal friend and business partner. He was 48.
Cancer… Or at least the consequences of cancer treatment. But to understand we need to go back a few years….
Ed was part of a military family. His dad, him and his son. Ed was Special Forces. During the first Gulf War with Iraq, Ed was exposed to many chemicals. Benzine being one of them. Probably from the burning oil fields. But who knows what other things where in the air due to chemical warfare?!
The evening after his passing I got a call from Kim, Ed’s wife, and she said that he came home from the war with ongoing health issues. Skin rashes and sometimes just feeling “under the weather”.
He never spoke much about his time in the military even though Ed and I have talked for many hours over the years. Kim never knew any details either. A few hints, but no details. Ed carried what happened, where he was, and what he saw, inside. He never complained to me and always had a smile and giving heart. But more on this in a bit.
Fast forward to 2012, July, Kim noticed he was not doing as well. Ed wrote it off to having grand kids around who brought every cold and virus home. Ed and Kim where very active in helping to raise and take care of the grand kids. At times their two daughters, Kirsten and Samantha, lived at home with them with the grand kids. Over the summer of 2012 I noticed that there was less and less chatting and communication from Ed. He was not feeling as well more often. But I thought the same, just kids around… But Kim was not so easily fooled.
A few weeks ago Kim and the girls finally persuaded Ed to go into the doctor for some tests. I talked to him the day he was to go in for the tests. He was having blurry vision and other issues. He told me about it and that he thought he better quit being so stubborn and go. Kim would not take “no” for an answer this time. From there it gets sketchy. Communications got few and far between.
One day I came home and checked my Twitter feed and saw a few posts from just minutes before about chemo treatments. I knew right then that it was Ed. But still no details, what type of cancer? Ed was private and I think he didn’t want to burden anyone in our community with this. Of course he never complained about the strong and fast course of treatment. At least not to me or on Twitter. Even Kim said he keep his chin up and saw a positive outcome. Except for one day in the middle of the treatments. Near the time they call “bottoming out”, when his immune system would be almost gone, none, nada. Ed finally said to Kim that he was out of gas and not sure he could keep this up, keep fighting the good fight. But just like the Ed we all knew, he bounced back with a positive outlook and the will to fight once more.
I chatted with him via Twitter DM earlier last week. He had his new iPhone with him in the hospital. He said he was feeling better and felt he might be home by the end of the week. I said to give me a call when he felt up to it and certainly let me know when he got back home. That was the last I heard from him. I sent a DM on Thanksgiving Day. No reply. By Friday morning I was concerned. Ed always communicated with me. Many times within minutes.
I found a DM on Friday afternoon via Ed’s Twitter account. All it said was “Ed died this morning. He is in a better place.” Kirsten, his oldest daughter had let me know.
Ed’s Twitter friends started to hear about his passing. Tweets started pouring in. We still didn’t know what happened.
Ed had Leukemia. It didn’t show up in the blood work. Only a bone marrow test found it. When he went to the hospital for the tests, after I talked with him, his symptoms would indicate a stoke to almost any doctor. But that day a doctor, someone who was an expert in Gulf War Syndrome, was working the ER. He recognized what was happening. Ed went into aggressive chemo treatment. Shortly after I talked with him earlier this last week Ed came down with Pneumonia. No immune system to speak of. This was Tuesday. Buy Wednesday I understand he was un responsive. He had been sedated for an MRI and didn’t wake up as expected. At some point a blood clot let go and Ed had an aneurysm. He passed Friday morning peacefully. He was not conscious or in pain. No more pain for Ed physically or mentally from the war.
I received a call from Kim Friday night. We talked for 45 minutes. She had seen this coming. She prepared her family for it. She was strong and amazing on the phone. I’m not so sure I was.
Kim and her family didn’t know much about Ed’s online world. She said he kept it to himself. Besides, each of us has probably experienced talking to our families about web design and code and get that blank stare that says “I didn’t understand a word you just said”. So it came as a big and pleasant surprise when twitter and the RW Forum lit up with people remembering Ed and how he had helped them with the “patience of Job”. Always friendly and caring.
I met Ed over 6 years ago on the Rapidweaver Forum. I was one of the main moderators. Ed followed me around and soaked up all things RW, HTML, CSS and more. But not just from me, but all the active folks. Especially the Developers who made themes and Plugins for Rapidweaver.
Ed called me his Mentor and credited me with helping him become the RW stalwart and go to guy we all knew. Kim called me that night to let me know how much I meant to Ed. She said he talked about me often. Very humbling indeed!
As I had less and less time to devote to RW and the Forum, Ed become more involved and took on more and more support questions. If I compare my 2 years of being one of the main support characters to what he did, I think Ed far surpassed his Mentor. He gave over 5 years of consistent and caring support. He loved RW and all things Web. He truly was “Mr. Rapidweaver”.
I had helped start Supportcasts.com (now moving to be macsupportcasts.com) and brought in Kevin Burns to help with it. But making video tutorials every week was taxing. I needed help. I thought of Ed. When I asked him and offered a share of the company he gladly accepted. From that point on we talked and worked together almost everyday. There where times when a week or so would pass but not often. We become good friends. It is now just Kevin an me again, looking to the future without one of the most loyal and best business partners you could ever ask for.
I think Ed was a lot like Samwise in the Lord of the Rings. Once a friend, he would carry you up the mountain if he had to to help you achieve your goal. I suspect this is how he was with his military buddies and special forces team. He always had your back.
What more can I say except that I was a friend of Ed Brenner’s and I am better for it.
I suspect those of you who knew him online feel the same way and have many stories about his help and support.
I am honored that Kim took the time to call me. I am grateful that Ed’s daughters took the time to tweet to his Tweeps. I asked Kim to keep in touch with me. Not to disappear. She agreed.
True to form, Ed never complained even to the end.
We will all miss him.
—
Ed had 3 children:
Kirsten Marie is the eldest
Zachary Scott is stationed at Fort Benning GA and his twin sister is Samantha Ann
Grandkids:
Tea’ Marie – 7
Kylar Scott – 2
Memorial services are being arranges as I write this. Ed will be cremated as per his wishes.
Added November 26, 2012 at 8:26 PM MT
Memorial Service for Edward Brenner
Location:
Fountaingate Fellowship
Abilene,Texas 79603
Time -10:00 A.M. Wednesday November 28, 2012
Officiated By – Pastor Scott Beard
I will be taking a moment at this time for a silent remembrance. Then later I will have a beer or glass of wine as a toast to Ed. If you can, I hope you will do the same.
Thank you, Larry, for writing a beautiful eulogy for a wonderful man. I never had the honor of knowing him in person, but through several years of emailing and Tweeting, I feel I got to know him pretty well. It was very obvious that his heart was with his wife, children and grandchildren – he often spoke glowingly of them – and I know they are going to miss him terribly. In the four or five years that I’ve been a member of the RW community, I can’t ever remember a disparaging remark from Ed. He had the patience of Job, and relished in assisting others. For the many times he assisted me, I will be always thankful. But, larger then that, I am honored to have known him, as I was able to – through email conversations and from reading his replies to others on the forum.
My thoughts and prayers are with Ed and his family. I hope our recollections make his passing a bit easier – knowing that he helped enriched the lives of people near and far.
Very best,
Dave
Thanks for this very nice post. As my wife beloved aunt died last week from cancer, I know how sad it is too lose someone you love.
Hans
Bruges
Belgium
A beautiful eulogy over an honorable man, Larry.
He will be missed!
/Roger
Roger Törnström recently posted..Gone flying…
Larry,
Thanks for your Eulogy. Ed and I never met but became sympatico when with both acknowledged our time in the Military (I in the British RAF). That alone is a great bond, but there is no doubt that he was Rapidweaver’s best friend. He will be deeply missed and his calming influence over ‘heated’ Forum debates was brilliant (he could have been a great diplomat.
Rest in peace Ed – Per Ardua Ad Astra
Sqn Ldr Ken Pryce
Hi Larry:
A beautiful remembrance, thank you for sharing. Ed and I not only shared RW musings but dulcet stories of grandchildren. I am stunned at his passing and only have the finest memories of this beautiful gentle man.
Jamie
Larry,
Thanks for putting into words the things we all saw in Ed. He was a giving soul and I will always remember him that way. I was new to the RW community about 2 years ago when I met Ed. Although I didn’t know him very well on a personal level, we still had emails, twitter chats, and the occasional skype conversation. Each and every time Ed was always giving of his time. He made sure that you understood how to do something before the conversation ended. Thank you Ed for sharing your RW knowledge with us and a BIG thank you to his family for sharing such a special person with us. Ed you will truly be missed. To Kim, the kids, and his grand kids you will all be in our prayers in the days to come!!!
Jayson
Thank you for the wonderful words Larry! This was a sad and hard task and is highly appreciated.
Kevin has started his new contract in the UK today and is not really on FB anyway, therefore I am writing on his behalf as well.
He was well and truly shocked to hear of Ed’s death, having communicated with him just over the summer.
To Ed’s family I would like to extend our heartfelt wishes of condolence and comfort. Ed was a kind and very very brave man and still so young. He will be sorely missed by all but for his family it must be unbearable. We wish them all the strenghth and comfort with all our hearts!
Take care Ed. We’ll miss you.
Thanks for the touching eulogy about Ed Larry.
I will miss his candor, honesty, willingness to go above and beyond in helping Rapidweaver users out, and his help any time of the day on FreeStack support requests from users. He was a sounding board I could use to bounce new ideas and concepts off of that would often appear months later after he spent countless hours testing out for me and troubleshooting.
But most of all I will miss the friend that he had become over the years that I had known him. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family.
Thanks Ed.
Charlie
Blueball Design
I’ve only just heard now such is how busy I am. Ed was someone I really respected and was fortunate to know a little (host a few sites for him, Skype chats a few times and quite few emails).
I don’t even ono how to react to this yet, outside shock and huge disappointment for his family and all of us who loved knowing Ed.
Thanks for your thoughtful writing Larry. So much appreciated.
Karn. (WebKarnage)
This is heartbreakingly sad news.
While I never spoke to Ed, I will certainly miss seeing him over on the RapidWeaver community forums.
My thoughts and prayers go out to his family.
Thank you so much, Larry, for sharing more of the man most of us knew only through his helpful and kind manner. Ed lent me a helping hand a few times and always cheerfully. We should all try to walk as well upon this earth as Ed did. My condolences to Ed’s wife, children and grandchildren—and to you, Larry, as well…as one of Ed’s close friends.
Ed, Thanks for all…
Memorial Service for Edward Brenner
Location:
Fountaingate Fellowship
Abilene,Texas 79603
Time -10:00 A.M. Wednesday November 28, 2012
Officiated By – Pastor Scott Beard
I will be taking a moment at this time for a silent remembrance. Then later I will have a beer or glass of wine as a toast to Ed. If you can, I hope you will do the same.
Thanks Larry. I will take a moment today and I will raise my glass for Ed. and I will do what I always did each year before the holidays and what always made Ed and me smile: install the “snowstorm” effect on my RapidWeaver websites, which was one of the first things he taught me. We will miss his contributions. But he’s now weaving heaven, one site at a time.
Thank you for this very nice post, Larry. I still cannot wrap my head around this. I have lain awake the last few nights thinking about this. I can’t even imagine how Ed’s family is dealing with it. This is just wrong on so many levels. A quick search of my Gmail produced support emails from Ed as recent as November 16. He was almost always the first guy to respond to a request for help, so amiable, so intelligent. What a terrible, terrible waste.
Thank you, Larry, for these details and for your memories and thoughts. They mean a lot.
I will always respect this man who I never met in person, yet still felt I knew from our correspondences. A generous and gentle spirit who will remain an inspiration far beyond the RapidWeaver community.
Looks like my comment from last night was modded?? Can’t imagine why.
Anyway, coincidentally – or not – this quote appeared in my IN box today. Thought I’d share.
“The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God.”
― Eileen Elias Freeman
Force & Honor. Ever.
#rip
Thank you Larry for this beautiful insight.
Ed helped me on many occasions, I think all of us can say that.
Ní bheidh a leithéid ann arís (We shall not see his like again).
Tommy Weir recently posted..Robert Frank’s Life
What a great person Ed was. My deepest thoughts and prayers go out to the Brenner family.
I joined the RW community only 2 years ago, and I give thanks to all your support. My condolences to the Brenner family for your loss, although I never met Ed he did help me with my quest to create my first website. My partner died of cancer and I know the pain and sadness you must be feeling. RIP Ed and thank you.
I never met Ed directly, but he helped me on many occasions through the online support forums, and he was always patient and kind. My thoughts and prayers go to his family and friends at this time.
Thank you Ed for everything. x